15 phrases your wife says that mean the complete opposite.

Sometimes women say one thing, but mean another.  Click here to read my latest article on FamilyShare.

How to spot the miracles in your life

I have been thinking a lot about miracles lately.  Miracles are big, some are small, and I think most might even go unnoticed.  Miracles can brighten your day, comfort your soul, and strengthen your faith.  And the best part is, there are already miracles in your life.  Here's how to spot them.

{Slow down.}

You are busy.  I am busy.  Everyone is busy.  Some people bask in the glorification of busy.  Technology, work, activities, competition - all these things can overwhelm your life.  Stop.  If even for a moment, just stop.  Two words that pierce my soul every time I hear or read them are as follows: Be Still.  I have these two words plastered around my workspace, my home, even my phone.  Be present.  Surround yourself with your family.  Surround yourself with the moments miracles are made of.

{Tender mercies.}

David A. Bednar said, "Tender mercies of the Lord are real and they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence."  What is a tender mercy?  Bednar describes them as personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts.  Knowing that these tender mercies are sent to us personally is a miracle in itself.  See how many tender mercies you can recognize today!

{Seeing isn't believing.  Believing is seeing.}

I was recently watching a classic movie, Charlotte's Web, with my daughter, and one part really stood out to me.  Fern's mother asks the question, "Do you understand how there could be writing in a spider's web?"  And the doctor simply replies, "Oh no, I don't understand it.  But for that matter I don't understand how a spider learned to spin a web in the first place.  When the words appeared everyone said they were a miracle.  But nobody pointed out that the web itself is a miracle."

How many  miracles are already present in our lives, every day?  Miracles aren't just events like the parting of the red sea.  They include simple moments like a baby's first smile or the beauty of the earth.  More often than not, miracles should inspire gratitude, not awe.

{Be grateful.  Be prayerful.}

Speaking of gratitude, I believe this is an essential attribute in recognizing miracles.  This paired with prayer makes it almost impossible to not see the miracles that lubricate your life.  Say a prayer of gratitude.  You might be surprised at the miracles that are already there; ones that you just may not have noticed.  A prayer of gratitude is often the answer you need.

{Write it down.}

Many people have a gratitude journal, or something of the like.  Mine is called a tender mercy journal.  I don't write in it every day.  But when I'm feeling dis-connected or in extra need of God's love, I'll commit to writing down every tender mercy I see in a day, a week, or so on.  I find that when I'm purposely looking for them, they are more easily found.  And when they are written down, they are not easily forgotten.

Everyone experiences miracles.  They are already happening in your life, you just need to know how and where to look.  Instead of trying to over analyze everything, try recognizing those things as miracles.  Big or small, each one is significant and meant just for you.

3 reasons running makes you better than her.

I combine two of my passions in this article on Family Share ~ running and writing.  Don't let the title deceive you.  Let it inspire you.

5 extra special gifts to give your mom this Mother's Day.

Mother's Day is coming up quick and I'm sharing some unique and thoughtful gift ideas over on FamilyShare!  Check it out if you need some inspiration!

i AM a writer.

The other day as I was scrolling through the RSS feed of my favorite blogs, I came across two separate posts.  They were posted the exact same day, not even an hour apart.  They were written by two different women who are both professional writers.  I often enjoy their opinions and advice given on family, marriage, and motherhood - subjects I frequently write about as well.

The first woman wrote about how she loved writing, and started freelance and professional work to get her name out there - a way to be "more than just a mother."  She talked about how it became almost like a burden because it was now a job instead of just a hobby.  I'll admit that it scared me because I was very recently hired to write - making my hobby an actual job.  I didn't want to lose my passion.

The second woman wrote about how she had been writing for years professionally, but never considered herself a "writer."  Even though she gets paid, she said she feels like an impostor.  The best part of this post was her exclamation that, "I am a writer!"  I had to laugh as I read this because I can totally and completely relate to those feelings. 

As I read these posts, I felt like I had arrived at a fork in the road.  Yes, my hobby is now a job.  But it doesn't have to be a burden.  I have been reflecting on the reasons I write.  It's not to get my name out there.  And it most definitely is not to become "more than just a mother."  I realized that the reason I love to write is for the hope that I can inspire someone.  If my words help to brighten another's day or let them know that they're not alone, then I have certainly succeeded.

I decided to follow the second woman's path.  I am so incredibly happy to be getting paid to do something I love; to fulfill one of my greatest passions.  And I am here to joyfully admit that "I am a writer!"

10 ways to brighten your day.

These things are some of my favorite ways to brighten up a day that just hasn't turned out the way I wanted.  They are simple, but make a big difference.  Sometimes, that's all it takes.

Serve others.  

This one is my favorite and by far the most effective way to turn a bad day around.  You can do anything from making a treat for a friend to buying groceries for the frazzled mom behind you in line at the store.  Satisfaction guaranteed!

Go outside.
I don't care if you're not an outdoors person.  Just step outside of your home.  A little grass between your toes and some fresh air is good for the soul.


Treat yo'self.
Food fixes feelings, right?  No?  Well then, you haven't tried my cheesecake.  Seriously though, some foods do cause your brain to release dopamine which helps regulate movement and emotional responses.  So, as a temporary fix to turn that frown upside-down, I highly recommend it!

Pray.
Start your day by communicating with God!  It doesn't take much time, but makes a world of difference in your day.  Be still.  Use those quiet moments to feel of His love.  I can't think of better way to ensure your day is full of happiness.

Put your phone down.
Or tablet, or any type of technology.  Unplug!  Studies show that excessive use of your device can lead to sleep disorders, stress, and depression.  Leave the world wide web behind and be present in the real world.

Pick some flowers.
Or buy yourself a bouquet at the store.  I never pegged myself as a flower person.  When I was first married, I told my husband that I would rather have a slice of cheesecake or new shirt before I would ask him to "waste money on flowers."  He didn't listen, (good hubby). The first time a fresh bouquet was delivered, they donned the center of my table and cheered me up for days.

Listen.
What speaks to you?  Birds chirping outside?  The sound of rain?  How about your favorite song?  Turn off the buzz that normally fill those passing moments of each day and listen to what will make those moments count.

Grab your favorite drink.
Maybe all you need is some hydration.  One of the tricks I learned as a new mom to cheer up my ornery toddler was to give him a late afternoon bottle/sippy/drink.  Not just a few sips of water either - a big ol' drink of vitamin-rich milk.  Maybe milk isn't your nectar (I don't blame you, EW!), but I think adapting my "trick" will work on us big kids too.

Get inspired.  
I love inspiring quotes.  Take to pinterest or even google and search for a quote pertaining to something that may be worrying you or taking away your happiness.  Read your favorite book.  Certainly there has been someone or something that has lifted up your soul.  Pour over that message that speaks to you again, or find a new one!

Meditate. I like to think of this one as a mix between "Pray" and "Listen."  You don't need to master Lotus-pose while chanting "Homm" to be a master at meditation.  Find a quiet moment.  I like to focus on three things while meditating, which always help me calm down and have a more relaxing day.  First, focus on your breaths, breathing deeply.  Second, focus on your thoughts.  My thoughts have a tendency to be all over the place.  Scatter-brained equals me!  Think of something that makes you happy or calm.  Finally, focus on your current emotion.  How have you been feeling all day?  How are you going to feel the rest of the day?  You can change the course in that moment.

It's okay to take time to take care of yourself.  If you don't, you won't be much good to anyone!  I hope some of these will work for you and that you will find success in brightening your day!

6 Principles for Parenting Happier Kids

If you ever doubt yourself as a parent and think you're getting it all wrong, welcome to the club!  You're not alone.  Every mother and father out there has felt the same way at some point, if not every day.  These principles, created by Lynn Scoresby, are my favorite to remember when I'm feeling as such.  They get the job done while ensuring your children still feel loved.

1. Prepare more than punish

A few years ago, my husband and I finished our basement and our oldest son finally got his own room, along with his own bathroom.  Before he could even enjoy the privacy of his new found freedom, I told him he was responsible for cleaning that bathroom all on his own each week.  I didn't set foot in that bathroom until a couple weeks later.  Honestly, it could have been worse, but I immediately saw my own mistake.  I hadn't actually showed him how to clean it, and the result?  Well, let's just say it's beauty only ran skin deep.

Rather than getting after our children for not doing what we ask, let's first make sure they understand what is expected of them.

2.  Communicate more than control

As parents, it can be so easy to bark orders at our children.  They may receive your short-term message, but in the grand scheme of things, they are also receiving feelings of negativity and even neglect.  Instead, hold that tongue, and lovingly talk with your children, not at them.

3.  Encourage more than criticize

One of my favorite pieces of parenting advice is this: "Remember your child is not an adult, so don't expect him to act like one."  I didn't quite understand what that meant until my child threw her first public tantrum.  Embarrassed, I quietly scolded her for acting out that way.  She was two.  Yes, these situations require proper and loving discipline, but it's important to remember that it's also part of a child's natural development.  Positive encouragement should always outweigh negative criticism.

4.  Involve and individualize

As a mother, I am very independent.  Meaning, I like to do things my way with little or no help from others (excluding my husband, of course.)  If the house needs to be clean, dinner made, kids dressed, let me handle it.  Why?  Because in my world, it needs to be done the right way, at the right time. Can any of you relate?  This is where I need to make a conscience effort to involve my children to help.  Yes, it usually ends up messier or taking longer than necessary, but the lessons they learn are invaluable.

5.  Love more than isolate

This principle always tugs at my heart-strings.  It's natural, at least in my experience, to discipline children with a time-out, whether for the sake of the child or the parent (we throw tantrums just as good as our littles).  I think a break is OK, for the sole purpose of calming down so we don't let our emotions get the best of us.  But don't isolate your child for longer than that.  They need our love, especially when they may not deserve it.

6.  Love enough to set and maintain limits

I feel like this should be an obvious principle, but I see so many parents that try too hard to be their kids' friend or that give in too easily to a tantrum or whining.  We know we are loved by our children, but wouldn't it be nice to be liked by them?  Some days I definitely don't feel liked, and that's OK.  I know that by setting family rules and being consistent, I am helping to shape them into the best individual they want to be.

I have found that by applying these principles, my kids are happier, I am happier, and our home is a happier place to be.