the quarter order.

My husband and I have been in the parenting game for over 10 years.  We have tried several different chore charts and disciplinary tactics for our 4 kids.  Some worked fine (for a while), and others failed immediately.   Recently, we came across a method that covers both ~ getting our children to do their part around the house and drastically improving their behavior.  Now, I know that this method won't work for everyone, but it is working wonders for us.  Here's how it works:

At the beginning of every month, each child gets an allowance.  You can customize this to your own family needs, but we give our kids $5 each.  The allowance needs to be given in quarters.  No matter how the month before went, bad or good, each child gets their allowance on the first day of the month.  

If a child misbehaves, take away a quarter.

If your kids fight, take away a quarter.

If they don't make their bed, take away a quarter.

If a child unloads the dishwasher without being asked, give them a quarter.

If your kids go an entire day without fighting, give them a quarter.

If they happily go the extra mile, give them a quarter.

Again, you can and should customize this to your own family.  We don't give quarters for doing their regular chores.  That's just something they need to do.  If they don't do their chores, bye-bye quarter.  On the last day of the month, we help them split their quarters into savings and spending. 

Here's what we as parents have learned from this system:

The first month or two, our kids almost ran out of quarters completely.  We have to consciously be aware of giving them quarters, because we don't want this to have a negative implication.  But now, they come out pretty even, and often with a couple more quarters than with what they started.  They are trying to find ways to earn quarters, and this Mama is LOVING it!  There is less whining, less bickering, and less fighting.  There is more helping, more sharing, and more loving.  It is working great for us, and I hope it can work great for you!

10 ways to brighten your day.

These things are some of my favorite ways to brighten up a day that just hasn't turned out the way I wanted.  They are simple, but make a big difference.  Sometimes, that's all it takes.

Serve others.  

This one is my favorite and by far the most effective way to turn a bad day around.  You can do anything from making a treat for a friend to buying groceries for the frazzled mom behind you in line at the store.  Satisfaction guaranteed!

Go outside.
I don't care if you're not an outdoors person.  Just step outside of your home.  A little grass between your toes and some fresh air is good for the soul.


Treat yo'self.
Food fixes feelings, right?  No?  Well then, you haven't tried my cheesecake.  Seriously though, some foods do cause your brain to release dopamine which helps regulate movement and emotional responses.  So, as a temporary fix to turn that frown upside-down, I highly recommend it!

Pray.
Start your day by communicating with God!  It doesn't take much time, but makes a world of difference in your day.  Be still.  Use those quiet moments to feel of His love.  I can't think of better way to ensure your day is full of happiness.

Put your phone down.
Or tablet, or any type of technology.  Unplug!  Studies show that excessive use of your device can lead to sleep disorders, stress, and depression.  Leave the world wide web behind and be present in the real world.

Pick some flowers.
Or buy yourself a bouquet at the store.  I never pegged myself as a flower person.  When I was first married, I told my husband that I would rather have a slice of cheesecake or new shirt before I would ask him to "waste money on flowers."  He didn't listen, (good hubby). The first time a fresh bouquet was delivered, they donned the center of my table and cheered me up for days.

Listen.
What speaks to you?  Birds chirping outside?  The sound of rain?  How about your favorite song?  Turn off the buzz that normally fill those passing moments of each day and listen to what will make those moments count.

Grab your favorite drink.
Maybe all you need is some hydration.  One of the tricks I learned as a new mom to cheer up my ornery toddler was to give him a late afternoon bottle/sippy/drink.  Not just a few sips of water either - a big ol' drink of vitamin-rich milk.  Maybe milk isn't your nectar (I don't blame you, EW!), but I think adapting my "trick" will work on us big kids too.

Get inspired.  
I love inspiring quotes.  Take to pinterest or even google and search for a quote pertaining to something that may be worrying you or taking away your happiness.  Read your favorite book.  Certainly there has been someone or something that has lifted up your soul.  Pour over that message that speaks to you again, or find a new one!

Meditate. I like to think of this one as a mix between "Pray" and "Listen."  You don't need to master Lotus-pose while chanting "Homm" to be a master at meditation.  Find a quiet moment.  I like to focus on three things while meditating, which always help me calm down and have a more relaxing day.  First, focus on your breaths, breathing deeply.  Second, focus on your thoughts.  My thoughts have a tendency to be all over the place.  Scatter-brained equals me!  Think of something that makes you happy or calm.  Finally, focus on your current emotion.  How have you been feeling all day?  How are you going to feel the rest of the day?  You can change the course in that moment.

It's okay to take time to take care of yourself.  If you don't, you won't be much good to anyone!  I hope some of these will work for you and that you will find success in brightening your day!

6 Principles for Parenting Happier Kids

If you ever doubt yourself as a parent and think you're getting it all wrong, welcome to the club!  You're not alone.  Every mother and father out there has felt the same way at some point, if not every day.  These principles, created by Lynn Scoresby, are my favorite to remember when I'm feeling as such.  They get the job done while ensuring your children still feel loved.

1. Prepare more than punish

A few years ago, my husband and I finished our basement and our oldest son finally got his own room, along with his own bathroom.  Before he could even enjoy the privacy of his new found freedom, I told him he was responsible for cleaning that bathroom all on his own each week.  I didn't set foot in that bathroom until a couple weeks later.  Honestly, it could have been worse, but I immediately saw my own mistake.  I hadn't actually showed him how to clean it, and the result?  Well, let's just say it's beauty only ran skin deep.

Rather than getting after our children for not doing what we ask, let's first make sure they understand what is expected of them.

2.  Communicate more than control

As parents, it can be so easy to bark orders at our children.  They may receive your short-term message, but in the grand scheme of things, they are also receiving feelings of negativity and even neglect.  Instead, hold that tongue, and lovingly talk with your children, not at them.

3.  Encourage more than criticize

One of my favorite pieces of parenting advice is this: "Remember your child is not an adult, so don't expect him to act like one."  I didn't quite understand what that meant until my child threw her first public tantrum.  Embarrassed, I quietly scolded her for acting out that way.  She was two.  Yes, these situations require proper and loving discipline, but it's important to remember that it's also part of a child's natural development.  Positive encouragement should always outweigh negative criticism.

4.  Involve and individualize

As a mother, I am very independent.  Meaning, I like to do things my way with little or no help from others (excluding my husband, of course.)  If the house needs to be clean, dinner made, kids dressed, let me handle it.  Why?  Because in my world, it needs to be done the right way, at the right time. Can any of you relate?  This is where I need to make a conscience effort to involve my children to help.  Yes, it usually ends up messier or taking longer than necessary, but the lessons they learn are invaluable.

5.  Love more than isolate

This principle always tugs at my heart-strings.  It's natural, at least in my experience, to discipline children with a time-out, whether for the sake of the child or the parent (we throw tantrums just as good as our littles).  I think a break is OK, for the sole purpose of calming down so we don't let our emotions get the best of us.  But don't isolate your child for longer than that.  They need our love, especially when they may not deserve it.

6.  Love enough to set and maintain limits

I feel like this should be an obvious principle, but I see so many parents that try too hard to be their kids' friend or that give in too easily to a tantrum or whining.  We know we are loved by our children, but wouldn't it be nice to be liked by them?  Some days I definitely don't feel liked, and that's OK.  I know that by setting family rules and being consistent, I am helping to shape them into the best individual they want to be.

I have found that by applying these principles, my kids are happier, I am happier, and our home is a happier place to be.

How I Do Laundry For 6 People Once A Week

I hear it all the time: women who are sick of the endless cycle of laundry; tired of the piles of clothes on their couches and floors.  I have never had such piles.  And when I tell them I only do 4-5 loads total!?...I get quite the look!  A few people have asked about my laundry schedule, so I thought I would share every detail (#sorrynotsorry) of how I do laundry for 6 people (mom, dad, 4 kids) once a week.  This method has worked great for me for years!  I have never felt overwhelmed by the thought of laundry.

Some disclaimers/tips to preface:

• It is an all day process for me.  I am not doing it constantly, but I start as soon as my kids wake up, and usually end right before I get into bed at night.  To me, it's worth it to get it done in one day.  I know others who don't mind spreading it out through the week.
• I have an HE washer and dryer, so they can hold quite a bit of laundry.
• Choose a day that will work best for you.  My day is Thursday because it's my least-busy day.  There aren't many holidays on Thursdays, so I don't usually have to re-schedule.  Also, whenever we go out of town, we tend to do so on Fridays, so it's nice to get it all done the day before, so clothes are ready to pack up.
• Make sure you have enough clothes, specifically underwear and socks, to last over 7 days.  This is so you won't have to do little loads of laundry throughout the week.  My kids all have at least 10 pair of underwear, excluding the youngest who has about 20, because he was recently potty trained.  Be sure you have enough jeans, church pants, etc.  This ensures you only have to do laundry once a week!
• Putting the loads of laundry away is one of my most dreaded chores.  But, it only takes about 15 minutes per load (less for non-clothing), so if I remember that, it seems doable.

The very first thing I do Thursday morning, is make sure my kids are all dressed (so their pajamas and underwear they were wearing are in the hamper ready to go.)  I take the hamper that my 2 youngest share, and collect the clothes of ALL 4 of my children.  I take that hamper to the laundry room, and it all goes in the first load.

When that load is in the dryer, next in is all of the clothes from my husband and I (excluding delicates.)  Shirts, workout clothes, jeans, work pants, socks, etc.

As soon as the kids load is done drying, I put it back in the boys hamper (no, I don't think the hamper that was holding their soiled clothing is now spreading cooties to the newly washed clothes.  Deal.)  I immediately take the hamper up to my youngest boy's bedroom (they share.)  Here is where I sort.  I open all the drawers and closet, and put the clothes away as soon as I pull them from the hamper.  For my oldest 2, I make separate piles on the floor.  When I'm done, I take their piles and put them on their beds for them to put away.

Kids Load: Done!

When I got the kids clothes out of the dryer, I transferred mom and dad's to the dryer.  Now it is done drying.  Again, I put the clothes back in our hamper, and take it upstairs.  Don't leave it there-it will wrinkle.  Immediately, I sort.  Shirts and pants I lay nicely on the bed-this is in case I can't finish and now they won't be wrinkled.  Socks, work-out clothes, etc. are put away.  Then, I take the pile on the bed and hang it all up.  

 Mom & Dad's Load: Done!

Next, I take our delicates (which have their own hamper), and put them in the washer.

When they are in the dryer, I start my next load.  Now, this part depends on where I am in my monthly rotation.  This schedule excludes all the loads that have already been mentioned, which are done every week.

I think it is pretty self-explanatory.  I do ALL the towels in one load.  However, this does not include hand towels and washcloths which I think need to be cleaned every week.  With those small items, I just throw them in with my clothes.

Next, I put the delicates back into the hamper.  I usually wait until before bed to put these away, as I'm not as worried about them getting wrinkled.  Again, as soon as the towels/sheets are done drying, I fold them up and put them away.

All Laundry: Done!

There you have it.  Thursday night, and all the laundry is clean and put away!